Several weeks ago (meaning three updates ago) I attempted to describe the comical genius that was "Seal Boy."  Sarah insisted that we get a video camera to catch this ephemeral moment in the Elliott's massive existence.  Now, after only three weeks of trying, I've managed to get this wonder online.

It's less than a meg, in deference to our Neanderthal friends still on dial-up.  We think it's hilarious.  I promise, you've never seen anything quite like it. 

Witness the majesty!

 

 

Warning, some images today may not be suitable for younger visitors.

Asparagus has turned out to be the Elliott's favorite vegetable.  Unfortunately, Elliott has a clan of hyperactive, over-achieving gnomes living on his uvula who demand at least a token gag for any food particle larger than a pea going down his throat.  Since asparagus is too stringy to be reduced by his six teeth to a gnome-friendly consistency, the boy has found a way around this.  Woe betide the wounded asparagus in the herd when the Elliott is on the prowl.

It's not a pretty sight.

Afterwards, he has to comb his teeth to get out the remains.

 

 

 

We took a trip North on Saturday to see Great Aunt Susie and Great Uncle Blain.  (They love it when we tack the "great" on there).  Suz is a little laid up from surgery, so we thought we'd take advantage of a captive audience and show off the boy.  Since Suz was incapacitated, we didn't take any pictures but let me tell you, I think the move to DD was a good call.  Mrowr!  

I am of course, kidding.  DD is too big for anybody.  Actually, she had back surgery.

We then went to Vashon to celebrate my Father.  Happy Father's Day, Dad!  Dad wrestled with waffles, learning that the expiration date on Bisquick actually does mean something.  Taste: good.  Height: challenged.  

We also kept them from working on The Boat for half a day, which is usually a big no-no, but I invoked my First Father's Day privileges and received no wrath.  Mom and Dad are getting ready to circumnavigate Vancouver Island for the next two months and they need every second they have left to get ready, so thanks for giving us a nice Father's Day breakfast.  For some reason, I didn't take any pictures of that either.

Finally, on the ferry ride home on Sunday I realized the camera had been in my pocket all weekend.  I took today's picture by dangling our $400 camera off the side of the ferry.  The Elliott is now 2 for 2 on enjoying boat rides, although I'm not sure the windblown look really works for him much. 

In all, a nice way to celebrate my brand new holiday.  No ashtrays, no neckties, and that was just fine by me.

 

 

The scary thing about this picture is the distinct lack of size differential.

We lugged Gargantua out to Mosier, just East of Hood River, last weekend to visit my sister's family.  The Elliott and Roan, his wonderfully insane four-year-old cousin, had a great time.  Roan is terrific (and a ninja), and the Elliott just loves playing with big kids, much like Godzilla loves playing with Tokyo.   

Elliott also got to spend some quality time with Isla, his #1 Cousinette.  They had a great time, although they look a little grumpy here.  I think the Elliott looks torqued because Isla was teasing him about his new crawling technique.  9-month-old over-achiever Isla is a crawling machine, while the Elliott has invented a whole new method of locomotion closely resembling that of a deranged, crippled seal.  It's difficult to describe, but by using my English Major, perhaps I can design a suitable tutorial so you can get the feel for it.

First, lay down on the floor and lift all limbs in the air, ala skydiving. Now, start wriggling like Tickle-Me-Elmo and then, using only your undulating stomach muscles and the big toe on your right foot, attempt to push yourself forward.  Be sure to simultaneously waggle your left foot as far over your back as possible. Every five seconds you are allowed to use your hands to do a half push-up, but only if one out of three times results in moving backwards.  End up under a couch.  To complete the tutorial, make little bleating noises and sad faces until Sarah comes and picks you up.

We are so enamored with this technique, Sarah and I ran out and bought a video camera.  As soon as I figure out how to use it, we'll link to some real footage of seal boy in action.

Can't say much else about the weekend except that I wish I lived on a sunny hillside overlooking the Columbia River Gorge, with a pool.  Thanks for dinner, M + M! 

P.S.  It has been brought to my attention that I haven't done a Favorite Photo Friday in quite some time.  This is because I don't have any letters to post.  If you want FPF, dear readers, you must send us letters.  The links over on the left still work and we'd love to hear from both of you.

 

 

There's nothing stereotypical about our boy.  There's a whole lot stereotypical about his parents, though.  We're the couple cooing and goggling at our baby with wild abandon in inappropriate places.  We think EVERYTHING our child does is cute, including pooping and copious drooling, and we think you should too.  Hell, we started a website, for crying out loud!

Now we get to take it to the next level because the boy has started doing tricks!  Even if you don't actually know us, making eye contact will be taken as a clear signal that you want to see his tricks.  Hey!  Watch his new tricks!

Moving the cursor on and off today's picture demonstrates his "kiss blowing" trick.  Sarah refuses to acknowledge that it's more akin to a non-PC 1950's style pseudo-Native American war hoot.  If the Elliott is clever, he'll soon realize that it is also a get out of jail free card with Mommy.  Whoops!  I broke that priceless vase full of great granddad's ashes, but look!  I'm blowing kisses!  Mwah!  All sin just blows away! 

He has also started answering his first question. Asking "How big is Elliott?" results in this.  When he does this, you must say "Sooooo Biiig!"  This is also useful when you want to put a shirt on him or push in the tray on his high chair.  It's extra fun because he's so proud of himself afterwards.  Actually, sometimes he looks less than thrilled about showing how big he is, but when you've only got two tricks there's bound to be a little repetition.  

If I could figure out a hand motion for "Bloody Huge!" believe me, I'd teach it to him.

 

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, if you see this woman, back away slowly.  She has been released into the wild and no one is quite sure what she might be capable of.  If seen, please immediately contact the SPCA. (Society for the Picking on of Crazy Ainsleys)

Ainsley, #1 Aunt of The Elliott, has successfully completed her senior year at Aloha High School!  Everyone, including the boy, sat through 402 graduates from 7 to 10 p.m. at the University of Portland Superdome.  The Elliott yet again proved his amazing albeit somewhat wriggly patience, garnering high praises from our surrounding captives.  I learned the limitations of my little digital camera.  We took a bunch of pictures, but most of them looked like a sasquatch sighting.  I'm not saying you look like a sasquatch, Ains, although that is my right as your big brother.  It's a sign of my respect for your successful graduation that I am specifically not calling you a sasquatch.  SASQUATCH!!!

The management wishes you great success as you venture into the real world.  We're all so very proud of you.  We all look forward to exploiting your post-graduation brokedness for menial labor at embarrassing wages.  The lawn awaits, there's laundry to fold, and babysitting will get you a cool fiver if you do the dishes after he conks out for the night.  

With much love and genuine respect for your achievement,

Sarah, Dave and Elliott.

  

 

My Dad?  A God complex?  Nah.  But if you look really close, you can see the spark of creation snapping between their fingers.  

In other news, Chris, #1 French Philosopher of The Elliott, has received his kickin' schwag.  Based on this picture, I officially add "Bad Ass" to Chris' title.  Remember folks, people who study Philosophy in French are not to be trifled with.

In other other news, May has been added to the Archivatron over on the sidebar to the left.  Man, I can't believe I haven't given up on this yet.  My Mom can't believe it either.  Must be growing up.