What a transformation walking is.  Most of us don't really remember what a big deal it is to be able to free stand and use both our hands at once, but it truly unlocks a whole new world...

...OF DANGER!!!

We've done four things to baby proof our home:  Put up a baby gate, put a latch on that skinny cabinet door behind his right elbow, cover two outlets in his room, and buy a ton of baby proofing supplies.  Apparently, this massive effort is insufficient because the other day Danger Mouse here came toddling out of the kitchen proudly waving the biggest knife we own.  He had retrieved it from the countertop without the aid of any climbing device beyond tipped toes.  (We'd never actually noticed him on tip toes before either.  I'm telling you, we can't keep up!)

Despite this mercifully bloodless warning (my sister claims they only warn once), I find a walking boy to be an astonishing creature and I am literally reeling at the sudden spurt in development since he lifted those hands off the floor for good.  He's COOKING, for goodness sake! 

I first noticed it about two days after he really hit his stride*.  I lay on the couch eating a slice of bread.  The Elliott came over and took a piece, as is his right as master of the house, walked four steps to the piano, played a few notes, then came back for more bread.  This roundtrip journey was repeated until my (his) bread was gone.  Such a deliberate and frivolous act would not have been conceivable to him had he needed to crawl between locations and stand up at each end of his trip.  One, his bread would have gotten all dirty, and two, I would have been less amused, and thus able to eat more of it.  This carrying thing.  So convenient and efficient.  It's like the day we installed the dishwasher and discovered a whole new hour before bed time!  It's that profound an invention.  The world is his oyster, and now he has his hands free to shuck it!

Now if we can just keep him away from my table saw.  I'm not sure how he'll warn me with that.

*insert groan here

 

In Thurston County, Washington, a vast plain of meter-high earthen mounds cover the landscape in all directions.  Known as the Mima Mounds, no one has generated a definitive explanation for their existence, but everyone loves to guess.

In Multnomah County, Oregon, a vast plain of dime-sized itchy welts cover the landscape of my son.  Known as the Mystery Hives, no one has generated a definitive explanation for their existence, but everyone agrees they're pretty gross.  

The Elliott has spent the last two days in a Benadryl induced stupor, as these nasty welts have migrated around his body.  It's almost as though someone were slowly, gently prodding at him from the inside, trying to get out.  

We know he's allergic to egg whites, but we're virtually certain he wasn't exposed.  There were kittens in our house on Sunday, but they didn't stay very long and they didn't spend any time around his clothes or in his room, and he's spent time with other cats to no effect.  While we haven't ruled out glacial deposits, aliens, or a gopher infestation, the prevailing theory is MSG, as we partook of some Chinese food on Sunday.  This would make me extremely sad, because Daddy like MSG.  

He seems to be less afflicted tonight, so unless Leonard Nimoy comes out of retirement and does a new "In Search Of...", we probably will not know the cause this time around.

Anyway, although old, this picture is WAY cuter than hives. 

 

 

I love this picture because of the way it caught him actively learning.  We were singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and he's determined to get all four hand signs down.  He's still having a little trouble with everything besides the spider, but he'll get it.    My favorite part is where he starts clapping before we finish.  I can't tell if it's like a spontaneous ovation, or if we're being dismissed.  "Yeah, yeah, he climbed it again.  Whatever!  NEXT!"

We've got LETTERS this week.

Aunt Dana writes:

How lovely to see these photos!!  As you well know, I've been touting the joys of grandparenthood for lo, these many years.  It's wonderful to see another of my siblings experience multi-kidlets.  Keep it up, Sarah & Dan!!  I look forward to meeting them both at Grandpa Jay's school dedication.

We're all excited to be loading up the family tree and we'll try to bring our contribution at least to Vegas.  We'll see how the 12 hour plane trip to BVI in January goes.  

Great Aunt Suz writes:

ME! ME! ME! ME!  Please!    I'd love to be on the list.  The walking pictures are great!  He just looks so proud of himself.  The race is on now.  Santa and I are out looking for something suitably loud and obnoxious to gift him with this year.

Rest assured, Suz and Santa, you're already on the Christmas letter list, though I hope we have the right address.  I thought Santa didn't approve of loud and obnoxious.  Doesn't he just have his elves whittle stuff?  Real Santa gifts should be made of painted wood and not require batteries or earplugs.  Besides, you're still in charge of fashion.  He's 2T+.

Finally, our new mystery stalker Becky writes:

Hello! you dont know me, but i am a friend of chris brooks and i have been eagerly following the progress of your cool kid. he is awesome and i want a christmas card! if you send me one, i will send you one of our family. we don't have kids, just dogs, but they too know how too walk. unfortunately they also know how to eat remote controls and couches. i am seriously considering trading them in for a kid. what is the trade-in value on a pug and wolfhound do you think? 

I LOVE STALKERS.  I'm a sucker for celebrity and like all good fathers I'm going to siphon off all the vicarious glory from my child's achievements that I can.  Of course #1 Mystery Stalker of the Elliott, you will receive a Christmas letter and exclusive picture of The Elliott, and we'll take the trade.  Besides, any friend of the #1 Bad Ass French Philosopher of The Elliott is a friend of ours.  Also, I have witnessed the boy eating both the remote and the couch, so you're no better off there, and I can guarantee that neither the pug nor wolfhound will ever a) crash your car b) knock up a cheerleader, or c) go to a reputable college.  Stick with the dogs and watch the money roll in!

You see people?  Letters beget free stuff!  Send us your addresses.  We really, really want to send you a Christmas card!  

Have a great weekend and stay warm!

 

 

Wow!  Where the heck did November go?!?  Incidentally, even though I did actually manage two posts last month, neither of them included pictures of Elliott, so I imagine you're all a bit starved.  I promise, you will leave today stuffed to the gills, for today we can officially announce that The Elliott is BIPEDAL!  

The boy has been experimenting with upright travel for several weeks now, but our highly qualified Day Care professionals have officially given him the nod as of last Monday.  That date is important because this means that Weston, #1 Arch-Rival of The Elliott, only has 3 more days to get the Left-Right Repeat concept down to be considered the winner in this particular arms (or legs) race.  Weston is a week younger.  No pressure, Christian!

What?  You want proof?  Easier said than done.  He's a showboat until Fatherly pride/bragging rights are on the line.  

First the stand up.  He's figured out that the inflatable ball pit makes a pretty good springboard.  Hooray!

No, Elliott.  Dad already knows how to walk.  

Oh alright, one phone call first.

And apparently one story.

And a kiss for luck.

Alright.  Feet.  Check.  

I'm going now. 

Ta Da!!

OK.  I know that may be a little anti-climactic, but I want you to compare those last two pictures.  He has clearly moved both feet from their original positions.  THAT COUNTS!  And this morning, when I didn't have a camera, he walked nonchalantly from one end of the day care to the other.  He's there.  Guess it's time to actually baby proof something.

Now, some clerical stuff.

Issue the First: I fixed the archive buttons.  The hover-buttons were cool, but they didn't work for most of our loyal readership so I fixed them.  And you can't miss the Ewan pictures in November, so give those links a try!  They're delicious.

Issue the Second: Tis the holiday season and we want to send you a Christmas Card with an Elliott picture in it.  If you have any doubt that we have your proper address, or if we have never met you but you want a Christmas letter anyway, send us your address at Dave@ThisBoyElliott.com very soon, please.  You're worth the 37 cents.